For the SECOND time, I prepared to talk at a ladies' Christmas banquet and the pesky pandemic got in the way. Sigh. I'm really sad to miss out on a chance to talk face-to-face with some wonderful ladies, but I still have the joy of sharing my message with YOU this Christmas season!
This message was supposed to be a speech, so the style is more conversational (and a little more personal!) than my typical blog posts. If this message speaks to you at all, please let me know in the comments.
Oh, and while this speech is geared toward women, if you're one of my male readers, I hope you can find some encouragement in it as well.
What You Give a Woman
I want to start with a saying. Whatever you give a woman, she multiplies. That’s actually inspired by a quote by Erick S. Gray.
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any garbage, be ready to receive a truckload of it!*
(*Okay, so I might have modified the quote slightly to fit the audience, but you get the idea!)
I find Christmas has a similar multiplying effect. If you have a cozy feeling, it multiplies into favorite movies, and hot chocolate, and snuggles. Feelings of joy multiply into laughter with friends and games and memories. Candlelight services multiply the feelings of holiness in your heart. And if you add carols, your chest feels like it’s going to burst with the wonder of it all.
Of course, If you’ve got heartache or family drama, that grows too. This also reminds me of the saying that what you focus on, grows. If I stare at a flaw in the mirror too long, it swells up like Aunt Marg in the Harry Potter books, entirely out of proportion to what size it actually is. If I focus on a sweet gesture or a blessing in my life, soon my day is full of sunshine.
The Multiplying Effect of Focus
This way of filtering our reality based on our focus is scientifically proven. There is a part of our brain about the size of our little finger. It's a bundle of neurons called the Reticular Activating System, or RAS, and it functions like a search engine following a set of parameters that we have chosen. It filters out the content we aren't looking for and brings what we are looking for to our attention.
It's the same way that when you buy a new car, you see that model of car everywhere. Or if you name your baby something unique, suddenly you hear that name at every playground or school.